Today is a day of self-reflection. I’ve been on a two day bender now. Maybe longer, I can’t remember. I’ll probably drink tonight too, though I really have no intention. But I’m hanging out with Rick. And that usually ends up in us drinking the night away. It seems Rick’s presence results in procrastination. He’s [...]

i wake and crawl from my dark, urine filled bottle to sniff the outside air, to feel the lifebreath of the joysoaked sun. yet it is too much to bear; shrouded by woe, my wings, which once carried me to her arms, shrivel to dust. happiness lays at my feet, in ashes. with the blowing [...]

Raise my soul from this empty cellar and cheer the dead’s great victory. Another day to hear the wind’s dark and dreary whispers, beckoning me. Veins edged with that elixir of poisoned dreams, I am vacant of will, left to wander, alone, through the haze of gray cities lined with blood, semen and death. Gathering [...]

cont’d from Club Mekano, Zona Rosa, El D.F. After we dressed there was an awkward moment where we sat on the bed beside each other in silence. I didn’t know what to say and I could tell Camila was waiting for something more than a goodbye kiss. So I told her I was going to [...]

Early in the morning, the day, which for most is not Thems, but Theirs, they awoke. She, snatching the fuckstained sheet, dyed hair dead and disarrayed, said rowly to him, blah blah blah blah. From a toothless dream, bladder full, he opened his red lead eyes, focuncentrating, on her black smelly hole [the one in [...]

cont’d from First, In Anger “Here, drink this down and calm yourself.” A delicate hand shoved a cup of Brut to my mouth. It was Bridgette who’d saved me. A big boned girl with a sophisticated Sophia Loren look (a young Sophia Loren). Her hair was pulled up in a messy ball and held in [...]

Servility masters a sort of dull sensitivity in the hearts of the forlorn; the same dullness felt with the instantaneous removal of a limb. As I have experienced the former in all its depleting humility, I have also been the butcher in the latter. I speak of limbs here though in the most delicate and [...]

cont’d from Mi Calculador I awoke sometime that afternoon completely ravenous. It probably wasn’t the most sanitary of choices, but the street vendors had some of the best food around. Who knew where the meat came from? Who cared? I’d had the runs from the moment I’d got here, but I was eating like a king. [...]

That’s what she’d call me. I didn’t know what the hell she meant by it. Calculador meant calculator. “Que?” I’d say and she’d just giggle her cute little girl giggle and peck my cheek. I’d met Camila in a club in the Zona Rosa. From the airport you had two practical means of departure into [...]

Let me go ahead and cut to the chase. This isn’t some Oedipus complex bullshit. Unlike that psychoanalytical crap, I never learned to identify with my step-father. I never got past the stage of wanting to kill him. To cut out his heart and stomp it into the dirt right there while my mother watched. [...]